Life is full of choices. Some are small, like what to eat for breakfast, while others shape the very course of our lives. One of the most important choices we make daily is how we respond to the world around us—especially when faced with disagreement, disappointment, or hardship. Do we choose gratitude, or do we choose anger?
Many people believe that emotions simply “happen” to them, that anger is an automatic response when things don’t go their way. But just as we have a choice in whether or not to be offended, we also have a choice in whether to be consumed by anger or led by gratitude. The reality is, the two cannot coexist.
A Wake-Up Call in an Americus Hotel Room
For sixteen years, I worked in the automotive industry. My dad had spent thirty years in the same field, so I assumed this was the path I was meant to follow. I started as a temp worker, worked my way up through the ranks, and eventually held leadership roles in operations, quality, and environmental auditing. I believed my success was the result of my own hard work and determination.
Then one night, everything changed.
Sitting alone in a hotel room in Americus, Georgia, I had what can only be described as an encounter with God. He asked me a simple yet profound question:
“So, Richard, what do you really have?”
At first, I listed off my accomplishments—my career, my family, my possessions. But with each answer, God pointed out the truth: I was never home with my family. My fishing buddies had moved on without me. My career, which I thought was so stable, was about to let me go.
For the first time, I realized that the success I had taken credit for wasn’t mine alone. God had positioned me in every role I had, opening doors that I had foolishly believed I had walked through on my own. He had blessed me with my family, my friendships, and my opportunities—but I had put work before everything, convincing myself that providing for my family meant being absent from them.
Fast forward a few months, and my so-called “secure” career was gone. Less than a year later, my marriage ended, leaving me with three daughters I needed to reconnect with. Then, in 2013, my mother passed away unexpectedly.
Looking back, it would have been easy to let anger consume me—to blame the job, the circumstances, or even God. But in those painful moments, I realized something critical: God had never left me. I was the one who had walked away from Him. And despite my failures, He was still there, guiding me back to what truly mattered.
Today, I have a loving and supportive wife, strong relationships with my daughters, and businesses that Wendy and I run together. My daughters have built their own careers and families, and I’m grateful for the renewed connections we now share. None of this was by my own doing. God gets all the credit.
The Power of Choosing Gratitude in Relationships
During that time of transition, I met a mentor who would help guide me through one of the toughest seasons of my life. He saw something in me that I didn’t fully see in myself at the time—potential to become more, to grow beyond my circumstances, and to step into something greater.
He didn’t just offer advice; he believed in me, coached me, and helped shape my path into entrepreneurship and business leadership within the marketing industry. His example of service above self left a lasting impression on me, showing that true leadership isn’t about status—it’s about lifting others up, investing in their growth, and challenging them to become their best.
We didn’t always agree on everything, but because of mutual respect and care, we were able to have deep, meaningful discussions that helped me grow. Maybe they did for him as well.
Too often, people let disagreements destroy relationships. Take, for example, two friends who supported rival college football teams. What started as playful sports banter turned into an actual falling out when one friend couldn’t handle his team’s loss. In a moment of anger, he unfriended someone he had known for years—over a game.
It may sound ridiculous, but this kind of reaction happens all the time. Politics, religion, family disagreements—people let anger, pride, and ego sever connections that should be built on love, respect, and understanding.
But what if, instead of anger, we chose gratitude?
- Gratitude that we have people in our lives who challenge our thinking.
- Gratitude that we can have discussions that stretch our perspectives.
- Gratitude that we don’t have to agree on everything to still care for each other.
Disagreements don’t have to divide us. They can refine us—if we allow them to.
Handling Criticism with Gratitude
I love bass fishing and follow several professional anglers on the Bassmaster Elite Series and Major League Fishing Bass Pro Tour (MLF BPT). One of the pros I follow made a great point about handling negativity from online comments.
He said:
“For all those who support us and leave great comments, we thank you for taking the time to write to us. For those that bring the hateraid—we love you too. There is more love than hate, and love prevails!” Dustin Connell.
I really liked that perspective. No matter what level of success we reach, there will always be people—including friends and even family—who aren’t happy for us or who won’t support us. But their response doesn’t have to dictate ours.
Instead of letting anger take root, we can choose gratitude—for the success we’ve achieved, for the people who do support us, and for the opportunities we’ve been given. When we focus on gratitude, the negativity loses its power.
Surround Yourself with People Who Help You Grow
If you truly want to grow in life, business, and spiritually, you need to be intentional about your circle. Plug into civic groups, networking organizations, mentorship programs, and a Bible-based church.
Wendy and I joined the Rotary Club because we believe in “Service Above Self”—a mission that aligns with the choice of gratitude over self-centeredness. When you surround yourself with people who challenge, encourage, and hold you accountable, you grow in wisdom, patience, and humility.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received in business is this:
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”
Growth happens when you put yourself in environments where you’re learning from others, being challenged, and being stretched. If you want to keep growing, find a room that pushes you to be better.
Anger vs Gratitude: Which Path Will You Choose?
So today, I challenge you to ask yourself:
Do I let anger control my reactions, or do I choose gratitude?
One leads to bitterness, division, and stagnation. The other leads to peace, growth, and stronger relationships.
The choice is yours.
If this resonated with you, let’s connect. Drop me a message, and let’s explore how we can learn and grow together.
Lastly, a special thank you to my new Rotary friend for introducing me to the amazing book Unoffendable by Brant Hansen, and for helping me “Tapp” into becoming a better person with this newfound knowledge.
